The Meaning of Us
by kenshingirlxoxo652
Summary: Kagome was struck by Bankotsu's halberd and dies, and a year later is revived. Only, she doesn't remember anything except a man who keeps appearing to her in her dreams. All she knows is she has to find him, or she'll go crazy...
1. Chapter 1

Furious winds whipped around me, lashing my hair around my face. I opened one eye and glanced at Miroku, who was holding a barrier up to protect us from the lightening flickering around randomly. I frantically searched for Sango and Shippo, whom I found quickly. Inuyasha was still fiercely fighting Bankotsu. After I allowed myself to relax, I recalled the child who had led us to this Hijiri Island. His name was Shintaro. I panicked when I couldn't find him. Then I heard a child's shout.

Finally, I found him! I didn't have time to think before my motherly instincts reigned over my body, causing me to decide to go to him. Ignoring Miroku's shouts of protest, I dove out of the protection of his barrier and went for the boy.

My arms encircling him protectively, we rolled across the hard dirt ground. I opened my eyes and glance upwards. I had a split second before I registered a blinding light headed my way. Realizing it was the lightening from Bankotsu's halberd, I mustered all the strength I could to shove Shintaro away from my side.

If I had to sacrifice my life for another, then so be it!

I cringed as I felt the heat of the lighting stinging my skin from a slight distance. It was almost here. Time seemed to stop for me. My friend's eyes all widened in horror. They would have rushed towards me, if they weren't frozen with shock. By the time they came to their senses, it was too late. In my last moments, I took advantage of them to gaze into Inuyasha's golden eyes. He was crying. He knew it was too late, yet he rushed towards me with all his might.

"Kag-!"

* * *

It was dark, and I was... cold. My limbs were unbearably heavy, so lifting them was out of the question. I couldn't breath! My chest... so... heavy...

Excruciatingly slow, the weight on my body lifted. I could breath! I could think! Millions of questions flitted through my mind.

Who was I? Where was I? Who's voice is this, calling out to me?

I don't know how long I was in this state of consciousness and unconsciousness. Days? Weeks? Months? Possibly even _years_. When I was conscious, I could hear voices around me. There were _so many_ different voices around me. Sometimes they would cry, or scream. Sometimes to each other, sometimes to me. Whoever I was.

As I listened, I noticed quite a few names that were repeated. "Bankotsu", "Inuyasha", and "Kagome" were the names I heard the most. There were others, but I couldn't seem to recall them, as they were only occasionally mentioned. I wasn't too worried about those people.

Although, out of those three names, I often wondered which of them (if any) were mine. I could have been Bankotsu, though I honestly hoped not. The voices frequently cursed and threatened his name. Though, they often worried about Inuyasha. They'd repeatedly say "how hard this was on him". What was hard on him? I didn't know. I suppose "this" could have been what I was going through now. Though, I wouldn't call it _difficult_, per say. It wasn't anything. It simply _was_.

As for Kagome... The voices often blessed and praised her name. Though, when they would cry, they would cry for her. They'd cry out for her to "wake up" or "snap out of it". I suppose the voices around me really loved her. She sounds like a lucky girl to have my voices love her so. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of Kagome at all, even if there was a chance she could be me. ALthough my voices asked her to wake up, my personal opinion is that she's dead.

I'm not dead, so I can't be Kagome.

Or... was I?

When I was unconscious, the world would cease to exist. There were no voices. Only mine. I would often talk with myself, and if that got boring, I'd aimlessly wander through the dark area I was in. There was no color where I was. Nothing but black, murky nothingness. I like to call this "The Dark Place". When I was in The Dark Place for a while, I could almost always feel my sanity leaving me.

Strangely enough, though, every time I would be on the brink of delirium, I'd become lucid once more by hearing the voices. I'd like to think that my voices have saved me more than a hundred times. To you, that might seem like a hyperbole; that was simply the truth. I'm not exaggerating when I say I lost _all_ sense of space and time. So I assure you, it is _no_ hyperbole. I always looked forward to hearing the voices.

One day, though, I entered a place full of beautiful light. It was alike The Dark Place in the sense that it had no color, but it was different in the atmosphere around it. I felt absolute peace here. Everything was white here. And unlike The Dark Place, it had birds, grand oak trees, and animals. All were white and made no sound, though they were there nonetheless.

I called this "The Light Place". I'd switch between here, The Dark Place, and the voices. There wasn't any pattern to when I would enter any of the three realms. I'd switch randomly until The Dark Place ceased to exist entirely. That pleased me.

I was sitting on white blades of grass, under a magnificent white tree when I saw a white man in the distance. Unlike the faceless people I'd occasionally seen in The Light Place, he had a face. A very nice one, too. He had eyes, a nose, a mouth, hair, etc. None of the other beings in The Light place had those things. He was like me. He wasn't from this place.

He seemed to be walking towards me. The thought had me ecstatic. I could talk to him! Actually _talk_ with someone other than myself! After what seemed like an eternity, he had finally found me. His long hair fanned around him in the breeze, caressing his naked flesh. I almost wept as he sat next to me. Within a few moments, I felt warm streams of tears falling down my face. I looked to him, and found he was weeping as well._  
_

"Wha- Who- How?"

"Shh," He silenced me gently. I nodded, willing myself not to talk, even if it killed me. Anything to keep him here! I hadn't truly realized how lonely I had been all this time. He turned to me, his eyes still filled with tears. "I've been told we have a purpose." I cocked my head.

A purpose? What did that mean?

He shook his head. "We have a destiny together. Our fates are to be forever entwined, they said." They? Who were _they_? The voices? Had my voices truly said this to him? Did he know them to? These were the questions I burned to ask, but refrained.

He leaned forward, placing a feather light kiss on my brow. I barely felt him tie the ribbon on my ring finger. It too was white. "We'll meet again when we're alive again. I promise." I watched in horror as he stood. By the time I realized he was departing, it was too late. No matter how much I screamed for the man to return to me, he never did. I screamed for days until my hoarse voice could scream no more.

I never saw him again.

With time, The Light Placed gradually faded as well. Everything faded away until all I had were the voices around me. Then, the most amazing thing happened to me!

I saw the color I'd been desperately yearning for all this time. It was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined...


	2. Chapter 2

I moaned in pain, squinting my eyes shut. My body... It hurt... It felt so heavy... Everything is _so_ sore...

"_Inuyasha! Sango! Miroku! She's awake_!" I tensed in pain, though it was starting to reside.

It was a child I'd heard yelling. It felt like I'd heard this voice before, but I couldn't recall where from. He started whispering excitedly to what sounded like another child, except only a little girl.

"It's been so long! We've been trying to revive Kagome for months, and when we succeeded, she never woke up!"

"Mhm, that's exactly what Master Jaken said! I'm so happy she's awake now!"

Footsteps pounded against the floor, coming towards me. I could feel them all around me. I didn't know who, but there at least five people close to me. I felt a large, cool hand gently wipe my forehead.

"Kagome?" I heard a man murmur gently. "Are you alive? Please, _speak_ to me..." His voice broke, and someone took my hand to squeeze it.

Kagome? Who was that?

My body no longer ached, I realized. I fluttered my eyes open, my vision blurry. It was as if I hadn't used my eyes for years. As my vision cleared, I glanced around at all the unfamiliar faces surrounding me, their eyes gleaming with hope and happiness.

For what? For me? Or was it this Kagome that had them so happy?

Was _I_ Kagome? I wasn't so sure. It made sense, since the man holding me had called out to a Kagome. But I just didn't know.

I looked into the man's eyes, studying him as his arms held me to him. His eyes were gold, and gleaming as if he wanted cry and laugh at the same time. His long white hair cascaded over me, smelling of a forest. I lifted a hand to one of the strands of hair, tugging it gently.

I quietly said, "Hello,"

Such a simple word I said. Such a simple word that made the room chuckle in unison, and made this man hold me even tighter as he joined in with them.

His eyes danced with mirth. "Hello, yourself, Kagome."

I blinked in curiosity, not being able to not ask any longer. "Kagome?" I asked him. "Is that me?"

His face fell instantly. His forehead clenched in confusion, his eyes looking pained.

A little fox boy jumped onto his shoulder, peering at me. "_You_ are Kagome," The boy told me simply.

My brow furrowed in confusion. "A-are you sure?" He nodded. "And... You? Who are you, little fox?" He sniffled.

"You don't remember me, Kagome?" I looked around the room at all the strangers looking at me, all of which looked worried.

I shook my head. "To be honest... I don't know any of you..." I felt guilty that what I said seemed to cause them so much sadness. The little fox jumped off the man's shoulder and pushed the door aside, leaving the hut. A little brown haired girl followed him to comfort him.

Was he angry? I hoped not. How was I supposed to know him? Or any of them?

I looked away from the man's heart broken honey eyes. He set me down gently, but unlike the kitsune child, he stayed exactly where he was. He motioned for everyone else to leave, which they did.

He turned his attention back to me, his eyes cautious and gentle. "You really don't remember anything about us?"

I shook my head.

"Or anything about yourself?"

I shook my head again. I wished I did remember, but I didn't.

He sighed in exhaustion. "I see. Well, that's okay, at least you're alive... I'm _so happy_ that you're at least _alive_."

I blinked up at him. "That I'm alive? Why wouldn't I be? What happened to me?" He clenched his eyes shut for a brief moment.

"You died." It should have frightened me, or made me feel _something_.

But I didn't feel anything.

When he recovered, he sighed. "It was all my fault- oh, you don't want to hear about that now. I'm sure you have so many questions." I nodded in agreement. "You're Kagome, and I'm Inuyasha. We've traveled together for about a year now- well, two now, I guess-, along with Shippo, Miroku, Sango, and Kirara."

It took a moment to sink in. "And... which one was the fox kit?"

"That was Shippo."

It was a fitting name for him. Then, my thoughts changed topics. "How long have I been dead?"

He paused. "A year."

I nodded. It felt... odd to know I was dead for a year. And I've lost my memory, it would seem. It felt like it had happened to someone else. But it hadn't.

"I need to rest a while,..." I struggled to recall his name. Finally, I remembered it. "If you would please, Inuyasha."

He nodded, and exited the room as I asked him too.

In all reality, I didn't need any rest. I don't even know how long I stared vacantly at the wooden ceiling. I suppose until I heard someone entering is when I shut my eyes, pretending to be asleep.

I felt a tiny, furry hand pat my face gently. "Kagome, Kagome, Kagome," It was Shippo. He rubbed my hairline a bit, then curled up to my side and fell asleep. The little girl soon joined him on my opposite side. It wasn't soon afterwards until I fell into a deep slumber myself.

I dreamt of a colorless man that night, tying a ribbon to my finger.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the past week, I've come to know everyone again. I still don't remember anything from before I died, though they told me almost everything that I knew before I lost my memories and more.

They told me about themselves first, also teaching me bits about myself in the process. I learned how every one of us had come together to fight Naraku and find shards of the sacred jewel. They told me that they had finally defeated him while I was... _unavailable_. He'd often try to steal my corpse to gain the upper hand in their battles, but he never succeeded in kidnapping me.

Apparently, the two dog demons had loathed each other deeply before the battle with Naraku. I learned that Sesshomaru and Inuyasha had gained a silent respect for each other from both fighting against and killing Naraku simultaneously. Sesshomaru would occasionally leave Ren and Jaken behind in Kaede's village when he had something to clear up in his territory, or even when he just wanted to be on his own. The others were at first surprised he trusted them enough to leave his ward and servant with them to guard, though they slowly became accustomed to it.

Inuyasha had shared with me how the only reason he'd been able to get Tessaiga instead of Sesshomaru was because I helped him. I remember the way his chest puffed out with pride for me and the memory of the girl I used to be. I also remember being sad that I didn't remember it too, and I certainly didn't remember the girl he had so much pride for. Though, the group didn't let that discourage them. For long, anyways.

We'd often try to do things together that would help me jog my memory. Sometimes we'd go on short trips to the most memorable places anyone could think of, though we didn't dare venture too far away with Ren in tow. Every day, the whole group would share their best memories with me, hoping I'd even faintly remember anything. I never did. Eventually, it would hurt them each time I didn't remember.

One day Miroku concluded that it was a higher power restraining my memories from me. He reasoned that because when they'd wished on the jewel for me to live once again, it was a selfish wish, and my memories were the price for such selfishness. Inuyasha had gotten angry and retired into his tree outside of the hut. Sango says it's because he feels responsible for everything that's happened.

In turn, I felt guilty that each thing I'd failed to remember - no matter how little- caused him internal agony. That night, I myself went outside and fell asleep at the base of the tree he favored. I woke up in the hut, his arms wrapped around me protectively. He'd justified that I'd nearly frozen to death in the dead of night, and he only had held me to warm me again. Neither the others nor I believed his excuse.

My dreams of the white man in the field of white grass and trees never ceased. In fact, I'd have the exact same dream every night. It'd be me, sitting alone, feeling desperate for _something_, _anything_. And that's when I'd see him. He'd be walking towards me until he sits down beside me. We're both naked on the white grass, weeping at simply having each other's company.

It sounds weird, I know, but in my dream it seems perfectly reasonable. Next, he practically says that we belong together forever and ties a ribbon onto my ring finger. Then, he leaves and I cry out for him to come back until I can't anymore.

I always wake up swallowing a scream. Every time, I wake up feeling exactly how I did in my dream. I'd wish he was by my side again. Even though I didn't know him, in a sea of strangers, he was the only thing I truly knew was real.

I woke up the a few mornings later to a hot fire and boiling water. I rubbed my ring finger, then glanced at the Sango, who was the one boiling the water. Kirara lie by her side, purring in content as her owner occasionally scratched her behind the ear. Jaken was in a corner, snoring obnoxiously and blowing bubbles out his nose.

As of late, the finger that the man in my dreams tied the ribbon on has been tingling. Faintly, night by night, it has been darkening in color, as well. It has kept darkening, until finally this morning, it was jet black on my pale white finger. Just the _one _spot the ribbon was tied on, like I actually _had _a ring on

"H-has my finger always looked like this?" I held up said finger to show Sango.

Her lips parted in surprise. "No... I don't believe so...When did you notice it, Kagome?"

I looked at the black band encircling my finger curiously. "The skin there has gradually changing in color every day. I didn't think much of it until it got to be so dark." She bit her lip in concentration as she stirred ingredients into the pot, listening as I explained my dreams to her.

"I don't believe I've ever heard of skin changing color in just one spot like that because of a dream. Perhaps ask Miroku? He'd know better than I." I nodded, and thanked her as I departed the hut to search for Miroku.

I'd come to find Miroku wasn't nearly as dishonorable as everyone here made him out to be. Once, when I felt a hand on my bum and turned to find Miroku as the culprit, I simply asked him not to do it again. He took my request very graciously, and hasn't done it since. I believe it's because I'm not the one he wants. In my place, he wishes it was a certain brunette demon slayer.

When I found him, he was picking herbs in the field with Kaede. Upon my arrival, they both wiped sweat from their faces and sighed with relief at having an excuse to take a break. Under the shade of a tree, I explained to both of them my problem, and both of them seemed to have their own idea of what it meant.

"Perhaps the ribbon he's tying to your finger is linking you to him spiritually and the mark is bonding you physically. If so, fear not, you shall meet him sooner or later. He might even have the same mark." His eyes crinkled as he smiled at me. Kaede nodded next to me.

"Aye, child. Ye will soon meet ye soul mate on earth, just as ye did in the afterlife." I cocked my head.

"Afterlife? What makes you so sure that's where I met him, Kaede? Dreams have all sorts of odd settings." Miroku nodded in accordance with me.

Kaede smiled at me, leaning over to pat my hand. "I simply feel it in me bones, child. Now, go on. The children have spotted ye and will be wishing ye to take them to the fields and play."

Surely enough, I spotted Ren and Shippo ecstatically waving at me to come and play with them. I smiled, then stood to go play with them.


	4. Chapter 4

Ren and Shippo were very intelligent children, sweet as well. Shippo had quite a sharp tongue, though. Ren simply said things without realizing the effect they had on others. Don't get me wrong, though, they were both quite mischievous. Especially when young Sōten would come over to play with them.

The young thunder princess would always hold her own, though. I haven't met the young girl yet (at least not that I can actually recall), but I've heard stories. Right now was supposedly quite close to about the time she would come down to visit.

I smiled serenely as Shippo and Ren gathered flowers to make into a crown for me. We would often play castle, and they'd always make me the queen. I'd once offered for little Ren to be the queen, but she shook her head and said that she liked me better as queen and her as princess. Shippo would play the brave knight that would come and rescue us from all sorts of evils, from bandits to Naraku's allies. They didn't ever pretend it was Naraku himself, though. I think they didn't want to jinx it actually coming true.

I couldn't really relate to their fear, making me feel like the outsider, even among children.

Ren glanced up from her flower picking task to glance at the trees behind us. She raised a dirt ridden hand to shield her eyes from the bright beams of sun, squinting her big brown eyes. She gasped and made a toothy smile. She excitedly handed her picked flowers to me, since I was the closest to her, and ran for the forest.

"Lord Sesshomaru, you've returned!" She enthused.

I turned to observe the Lord Sesshomaru she'd often brag to me about, saying how powerful and majestic he was and how she was so grateful to be by his side. The stories she'd tell me about him painted a totally different picture of him than the ones my comrades told me, so I wasn't sure how to think of Lord Sesshomaru.

I gasped at his shadow. He had long hair, just like the man in my dreams! Could this be it? Could this be him?

He stepped into the light, meeting Ren halfway into the field. His eyes seemed cold, though he allowed enough affection to show. He placed a hand on her silky black hair. "Ren, Shippo." He murmured in greeting.

Finally his eyes landed on me, sitting only a few feet away. I held onto the flowers in my hand tightly, squishing them. This caused Ren and Shippo to both reprimand me and warn me not to mess up the flowers they had worked so hard to pick. I apologized, looking away.

They insisted that Sesshomaru play with us, and he reluctantly agreed, though threatened them if they were to tell anyone. We all knew he didn't mean it, but it was imposing nonetheless. He strode over to where a sat, sitting himself beside me.

"I am glad to see you are well, Miko." I nodded.

"It's nice to finally meet you as well, Lord Sesshomaru." I gave a shy smile.

_This _was the great Lord whom all of Japan feared? This wasn't the cruel, careless demon I'd heard so much about. This demon seemed so much kinder.

Even though I knew he looked nothing like the man in my dreams, I couldn't help but discreetly glance at his ring finger. I shouldn't have been disappointed that his whole finger was a milky ivory, but I couldn't help it. This confirmed it. Lord Sesshomaru was heart breakingly beautiful, but he was not the man in my dreams.

He nodded. "I had heard of your memory loss, though I had thought to confirm it for myself. It would seem the rumors are true. The Shikon Miko of the Feudal Era has lost all remembrance of herself or anything around her."

I glanced down, gazing at the flowers still in my hand. "Yes, it is true. I don't remember that girl at all, or anything she ever knew. In fact, she feels like a complete stranger to me." I confided that I felt out of place here and how it upset me that my inability to remember anything made everyone around me sad.

He gazed at the setting sun, listening until I had finished. The children had long since sat themselves nearby, taking the flowers they picked and the ones they'd handed me. Twisting them into a double set of crowns, they listened intently too.

When I was done, Lord Sesshomaru nodded in something akin to sympathy, if _even_ that. "In all honesty, I shall wish for you never to recall the memories you have of this Sesshomaru, as they are sure to be foul."

I smiled at him. "That's not true, Shippo said you saved me from a man named Mukotsu once. So my memories can't be all bad." He remained silent. I was starting to learn that was common for him.

It wasn't before long that Ren and Shippo and had both finished their assigned crowns. They went to Sesshomaru, each holding an opposite side of the 'crown'. He closed his eyes, bowing his head as they announced him as king of all the feudal era. He humbly accepted, straightening when the wreath of flowers was placed atop his head.

The children turned to me, holding my crown in the same fashion. Although, instead of branches like Sesshomaru's crown, my crown was a large assortment of beautifully placed flowers. It was the best they had made for me yet. I beamed at them, and then bowed when it was my turn to be announced as _queen_ of all the feudal era.

Before placing the flower crown on my head, they demanded that a kiss from each of them was required to complete my ceremony. I giggled and nodded, allowed them to place a kiss upon each cheek. They placed my crown on my raven black hair, causing me to thank them as well. I caught them by surprise as I snagged them to me, saying the queen demanded love from her subjects, and kissing their cheeks. They giggled with mirth, and in the distance I could see Inuyasha gazing at me peacefully from a tree.

When he saw I'd noticed him, he dropped down from the branch he previously occupied, landing on his feet. "Sesshomaru," Inuyasha greeted his brother with a smirk, looking pointedly at his head. "Or should I call you my king?"

Sesshomaru stared coolly, not replying. Ren and Shippo tugged on Inuyasha's hakamas, claiming that he should be more respectful to the king of the feudal era, or else he'd be punished by his queen. At the mention of my name, Inuyasha snapped his gaze back to me.

"His queen, huh?" He asked softly. "She is quite a beautiful queen, isn't she? I hope she doesn't take it too hard on me." The children agreed wholeheartedly, saying that their queen was the kindest and fairest queen in the whole world, causing me to blush when Inuyasha said he agreed completely.

"Well, your highnesses and their royal subjects, it's getting dark out and Sango has finished the evening meal. Would you care to dine with us back at the royal palace?"

We all chuckled, excluding Sesshomaru, who merely smiled gently. Sesshomaru stood, handing out his palm out to me. I took it, thanking him as he helped me to stand. I tried not to notice the way he looked at me. If he wasn't the one, then he wasn't _the one_.


	5. Chapter 5

When we returned to the village, there were wolves looming around the hut. I looked Inuyasha curiously as he grumbled.

"What is it, Inuyasha?"

He sighed. "More like _who_ it is."

Shippo smirked, holding his hands behind his head. "It's Koga!"

I blinked. "Koga? Who is that?" As we neared the hut, I heard shouting.

"No way!" Shippo exclaimed. "No one has told you about Koga?"

I shook my head. "No, they haven't," I said as we walked through the doorway. "Why, should I know him?"

The shouting ceased as soon as I walked in. Everyone looked on edge. In the middle of the room stood a man with long black hair, which was bound on top of his head in a flowing ebony ponytail. My breath hitched when I first glanced at him, then I sighed in disappointment when I noticed his finger. It didn't have the mark. But... he looked so much like the man in my dreams! Not exactly, but still! How long would it be before I found _him?_

I was brought out of my musings by the man yanking me to his chest, holding me there tightly.

"Umm..." It was nice to be held there, but seeing as he was a stranger, it was kind of... awkward.

"I'm so glad you're alive, Kagome. It's been so long since I've been able to hold you like this." He brought a hand to the cheek that wasn't on his cheek. "Your warmth has returned..." he said softly.

I sighed sadly. "My memories haven't, though..."

He held me at arm's length. "So, it's true? You really don't remember anything? Anything at all? Not even me?"

I nodded, averting my eyes. I couldn't bear to see his eyes get sad the way everyone else's did. "It's true," I replied meekly.

I could _feel_ his stare. "I see..." he said, his voice deeper. When I glanced at him, he was smiling at me. I blinked. This was... Odd.

"Not that I mind so much, but... why are you smiling?"

He blushed, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. "Nothing, it's just that... Now I get the chance to propose to you the right way." My eyes widened.

"You proposed to me?" He winked, holding a thumb up.

"You bet 'cha! And since you can't remember, I get to do it again! And make it even more special!"

I blinked in surprise. Was I engaged before I died?

He kissed my cheek goodbye, and zoomed out of the hut, his two companions saying their goodbyes before following him outside.

I glanced around at everyone, all of who seemed to be laughing hysterically, excluding the two dog demon brothers.

Miroku wiped his eyes and stood over from his bent over position. "It would seem you still have it going on, Kagome!"

I pouted and looked away, embarrassed at all the attention everyone was giving me.

Eventually, the hype died down and after grabbing food and thanking Sango for the meal, everyone had resigned to their favorite spots in the cabin. I was the last one to get my food. When I went to sit in my usual spot, food in hand, Inuyasha motioned for me to meet him outside.

When I made my way outside, I saw Inuyasha had already sat at the base of his favored tree. The air hit me suddenly, causing me to shiver.

"Cold?" I nodded. He patted the vacant area beside him, inviting me to sit down, which I did.

I glanced at him curiously as I ate my food. Swallowing, I inquired, "So what's this about, Inuyasha?"

"Kagome... Do you... Did you like it? When Koga hugged you like that?" I didn't know how to respond.

"Inuyasha... What's this about?" He looked away.

"Just answer the question, Kagome." I frowned.

"I don't think so, Inuyasha. Not until you tell me what this is about and get a better attitude." I went to stand, but then he snatched my hand and begged me to sit again.

"I'm sorry, Kagome, I just... How do you feel about me? About us?"

I looked at him questioningly. "You're my friend, Inuyasha. I might not remember everything, but you all have been good to me during my time here."

He looked at me. "Your time here? You say that as if you won't stay." I opened my mouth, but he waved a hand. "Don't worry about it, I know what you meant. But, Kagome, what if I was interested in _more _than being your friend?"

My eyes widened. "More... than your friend? As in, your girlfriend?" He nodded slowly.

"We could take things slowly, if that's what you want. But I hope to eventually marry you." The heat in his eyes was so intense, I felt as though he would burn me alive. I couldn't take it any longer, so I looked at the moon, which was nearly gone.

"Inuyasha, you change into a full human on the moonless night, correct?" He scoffed.

"Yea, but that has nothing to do with what we're talking about. Why are you trying to change the subject?"

I sighed, looking down as I picked the grass next to me. "Because... When I say you're my friend, I mean _friend_."

He nodded. "I see." He stood, leaving me and going inside.

In his place, I only saw my dream man as his white backside walked away from me.

* * *

I soon came to the conclusion that Inuyasha would be okay. I was told he had a woman named Kikyo. As for me, I was growing impatient for the man I'd yearned for. The man from my dreams.

Then, with a start, I realized that I wouldn't likely meet him if I stayed _here_.

I recalled earlier that day Ren and Sesshomaru briefly discussing that they would be leaving tomorrow for the area near Mount Hakurei. Everyone had gotten sad, and afterwards Miroku had solemnly explained that I died in that area.

I didn't remember dying anyways, so I didn't care. It wasn't like I had any horrible memories or anything.

Later that night I asked the retiring trio if they minded my tagging along with them, and they were shocked to hear I wanted to go to that place.

"You are aware of where it is we are traveling, Miko?" I nodded.

"Miroku said that's where I died. I don't care. I can't take being here any longer and feeling out of the loop."

He held my gaze for a moment, then nodded.

"Rest then, Miko. It is a long journey, and you are no longer equipped for such a tedious walk."

Ren hugged me, excitedly exclaiming how much more fun we'd get have now that I was going on the road with them, making Shippo jealous. Sesshomaru pacified Shippo by promising to bring him along with us the next time he dropped by the village, which Shippo agreed to very enthusiastically.

That night I slept a foot or two away from Sesshomaru, though Shippo and Ren cuddled our sides, making it seem a shorter distance. Ren in between Sesshomaru and Shippo, and Shippo in between me and Ren. This made the space between Sesshomaru and I seem almost nonexistent instead of just short. I think he noticed it too.

I had the same dream I always did. Except, this time when I woke up, it was harder to suppress the screams.

When everyone else was awake, they were especially sad to see me leaving. After all, they had just gotten me back. But I had a new journey I needed to go on, this time for myself. I'd see them again, and hopefully I'd remember them by then.

I received hugs from all, even Inuyasha. In fact, he alone held me especially tight as he wished me luck and happiness. He told Sesshomaru that he'd better protect me, or else he would- I zoned out after that, not really caring about the rest of the conversation.

When we were out of the village and on the dirt path, Ren grabbed my hand and beamed at me. "I'm glad you decided to come with us, Miss Kagome!" I nodded, telling her I was glad as well.

Jaken grumbled and complained about having a human here that had already died. He thought I would die again, and that "they'd all have the wrath of Inuyasha and his friends on their heads". Ren swore nothing would happen to me and that they'd all protect me.

Honestly, it was a bit... embarrassing. The way Jaken described it made me feel as if I was incompetent for being killed. I know he wasn't trying to make me sad, he was just speaking his mind. Though, when Sesshomaru took note of the expression on my face, he silenced Jaken with a cold glance.

After that, Jaken apologized to me the rest of the night, and no matter how many times I assured him it was alright and that I knew he meant no harm, he never stopped apologizing.

I got the impression Jaken was practically religious in his hero-worship of Sesshomaru. One night, I even made the same comment, causing Ren to giggle hysterically.

"Y-yupp!" She cried, holding her belly. "Th-that's Master Jaken, alright!"

I smirked. "We'll call it Sesshomaru-ology. The study of Lord Sesshomaru, which Jaken is a firm believer in."

Jaken sputtered. "Oh, hush up you silly girl! Oh, Lord Sesshomaru, M'Lord, they're being so _cruel_ to me!"

Sesshomaru only smirked. "I'm quite fond of that religion myself." I snorted.

"Conceited, are we?" His smirk widened.

That night when I fell asleep, the desperation in my dreams felt more realistic than ever. I couldn't swallow the screams that ripped through my throat when I woke.

I needed to find _him_, and quickly. Or I feared I'd die all over again...


	6. Chapter 6

We traveled for many more interesting days. Many demons came in search of "the great Lord Sesshomaru" and wished to challenge him for his crown. They all failed. Back at the village, I'd never experienced any battles firsthand. It was so peaceful there.

I believe this is why Lord Sesshomaru's power awed me each and every time he battled. He didn't even have to draw his sword for the majority of them. Every now and then an especially large demon would come, but Sesshomaru finished them off all the same.

Lord Sesshomaru and I had also become especially close in my travels with him. He taught me many things, such as how to keep my emotions in check. He taught me a few fighting moves as well. Not even meaning to, in the process, he taught me _many_ things about himself. I learned most of what I know just from observing him intently.

Ren loved me even more and came to think of me as an older sister. It filled me with warmth knowing I had someone from my past that looked up to me as I was now. I admitted this to her, and a beautiful smile bloomed on her face as she threw her arms around me. The scene caused Jaken's eyes to fill with tears.

It would seem he was a sucker for happy scenes. Who knew, right?

That night Ren slept by my side. I think that's why my dream that night wasn't so bad.

I woke up the next morning with violet designs trailing from my black ring to my wrist. Wrapping around my hand in various places, they twirled intricately into one another. I showed Sesshomaru, questioning what it meant.

It would seem there were even things the great Lord Sesshomaru knew not of.

I was at war with myself, fiercely battling worry and curiosity for the remainder of that week. Lord Sesshomaru would constantly reprimand me for staring off into the distance idly, or for chewing on my bottom lip to the point of it bleeding. It took me surprise when he took my hand in his, gently stroking patterns with his thumb. I wasn't sure how to react, so I simply kept my hand in his.

I often wondered what I'd doing right now if I'd never lost my memories. Would I be with Inuyasha? Or Koga, whom I was engaged to? That introduced another problem; I knew he wasn't the one I belonged with. Not at least until I met the man from my dream. I would never be at peace until that day.

What was he like? Did he truly have the same mark on his fingers? Did he dream of me as well? Was he searching too?

These were the questions threatening to bury me alive with the need to have them answered.

"It won't be long now, Kagome," Sesshomaru said. He'd been calling me by my name much more as of late. "I will ask you one more time; are you truly sure you wish to continue to the area you died in?"

I wasted no time in replying. "Yes, I'm positive. As I've stated before, I don't remember that place or anything from it. It doesn't scare me."

He nodded, believing my words to be true. He grabbed my hand, kissing my forehead. "It worries _me_." He whispered. I was shocked. I don't think Sesshomaru has ever made himself so vulnerable to me. Or to anyone, for that matter. It was... odd.

And although it was odd, thinking about it days later still caused me to smile. It felt wrong, though. It was as though I was cheating on the mean from my dreams. I felt dirty.

So, I tried to sadden the mood. "Sesshomaru?" I asked quietly. "How... did I die? Exactly?"

He stiffened, distancing herself from me. "You were murdered."

I blinked. No one told me I had been murdered. How should I take this? Should I be sad? Angry? All I did was ask who murdered me.

Sesshomaru glared at the horizon. "His name was Bankotsu. He was in a mercenary group named The Band of Seven. They were allies of Naraku at the time."

"And now?" I inquired.

He clenched his fists. "Three still live to this day. Even I know not of their whereabouts."

Suddenly there was an earth shattering crash.

"Lord Sesshomaru!"

It was Ren.


	7. Chapter 7

I apologize for getting Rin's name wrong! I won't anymore! Thank you for telling me about it! :)

* * *

I went to glance at Sesshomaru with my horror filled gaze, only to find he wasn't there anymore.

I tore after him, running as hard as I could. My feet pounded the ground and my heart was beating furiously.

_Finally_, I found them! Across from Sesshomaru in the large clearing stood two men. One of them was holding Rin as she struggled to be set free, while the other drew his sword from its sheath.

Panting, I tried stepping silently to Sesshomaru's side.

Despite my efforts, the one with his sword drawn caught sight of me. "Hey, Suikotsu! Doesn't that look like the girl we're looking for? The one Big Brother killed last year?"

Suikotsu squinted his eyes, scrutinizing me intensely. "Yea, actually, it does..." He smirked. "It looks like the rumors were true."

The other man clapped his hands and bounced on his heels. "This is great! Big Brother will be pleased that we found her so quickly!"

Sesshomaru, placing himself in front of me protectly, growled deeply. "Your hands will be ripped off before you can even touch her, Jakotsu."

Jakotsu's tongue darted out to swipe his lips hungrily. "Is that a challenge? I hope so, after all, I'm still bitter that I never got to have my _precious_ Inuyasha!" Suikotsu sighed, exasperated.

"Jakotsu, we don't have time for this. That's why we took the little girl hostage, see? So the dog demon would trade her for the priestess." Jakotsu whined.

"But, Suikotsu!"

Suikotsu placed his claws on Rin's neck. "So, who will it be, great lord?" He sneered. "Your human child, or your human miko?"

I looked at the fear in Rin's eyes, then I looked back to Sesshomaru. I placed a pacifying hand on his tense arm.

"I won't make you choose, Lord Sesshomaru. I'd much rather spare my life than let a child die."

Jakotsu called out to me tauntingly. "Hey, isn't that how you died the first time?"

I ignored him.

Sesshomaru turned his cold eyes to me. "You think this Sesshomaru can't get you both out safely?"

I shook my head. "No, not in this situation, I don't."

He closed his eyes in resignation. "Neither do I."

I smiled. "And every good lord knows not to fight a battle he thinks he won't win."

His larger, warmer hand caught mine and he brushed his lips against my knuckles. "A good lord also fights to death for what he must protect, despite the odds stacked against him."

I yanked my hand from his grasp. "I believe you're referring to a fool. I won't have you endangering a little girl's life for my own. I'm a grown woman, and I can make my own decisions. Therefore, I've decided to go with Jakotsu and Suikotsu."

"Even if it kills you?" He growled.

"It wouldn't be the first time!" I snapped. I called out to the duo across the clearing. "I'll go with you. Please, just don't hurt her."

Suikotsu stared me down as I strode towards them. I was trying so hard to appear calm and collected for Rin's sake.

Finally, I stood before them. I could hear Rin's whines of fear, even as she tried to look unfazed. Unlike Sesshomaru, she hadn't mastered the art.

I knelt down before her, holding out my arms. I looked to Suikotsu and Jakotsu pleadingly. "May I please have one more hug?"

Jakotsu shrugged. "Sure, but only because you asked so nicely."

Suikotsu placed his claws on my neck, releasing Rin to me. As she leaped into my waiting arms, he said, "Don't you try anything, or else I'll kill you both." I nodded, petting her head.

"Kagome! What are we going to do?" She whispered, her voice choking on a sob.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "This is exactly what we'll do, Rin. We'll hug, then part ways. It won't be forever, but I can't promise we'll see each other soon." I kissed her head. "I love you, Rin. Tell Shippo I love him too, okay? Can you do that for me?"

She hiccupped, shaking her head. "I'll never forgive you for this, Lady Kagome. Never for as long as I live!" She held me tighter.

"Then so be it." I kissed her once more, then released her to Sesshomaru.

I tried to forget the heart-broken looks in their eyes, but I couldn't. As Jakotsu and Suikotsu led me away, I felt sadder with every step took. I already started missing my companions. I even missed Jaken.

Jakotsu whistled contentedly, his arms behind his head. "This has been a very good day, eh, Suikotsu?"

He nodded. "Big Brother will be pleased, as you said."

I figured I might as well try to be nice to them. After all, I didn't want to make this harder than it already had to be. Therefor, I contributed to the conversation by asking, "Who's your big brother? Is it Bankotsu?"

They stared at me, causing me to become nervous. Then Jakotsu looked to his companion, saying, "I don't like her tone, Suikotsu. It's too cheerful for someone who's just been kidnapped. Shouldn't she be crying or something?"

I raised my eyebrow. "_'She' _is standing right in front of you. And what good would crying do? I have nothing to cry for. Rin is safe, and you're not being cruel to me. It could be worse."

Suikotsu smirked at me. "That's very positive thinking, even for a miko. A little... too positive. Perhaps you're trying to win our trust and escape?"

I poked out my tongue. "Nah, I'm too interested in meeting the man who killed me."

Jakotsu stared at me. "So, it's true! You have lost all your memories!" I nodded.

"Exactly. Therefore, I hold no grudge over any of you, because I don't remember you! See my point?"

They stared at me skeptically. "Sureeee," said Jakotsu. They watched me still, though not as intensely. That made me feel a bit better.

I took this time to let what I had done sink in. Was this truly a good idea? The man I was going to meet had _killed_ me!

I was calmer than I should have been, and that in itself unnerved me.

I glanced around, and I noticed that Jakotsu and Suikotsu were both lost in their own thoughts.

_This is it!_, I thought. _Now's my chance to make a run for it!_

And even as I thought these things, my feet kept walking straight. I realized that I didn't even _want_ to run, which was of course absolutely _ludicrous_. Wasn't it?

What kind of fool went willingly to meet the man killed her?

I continued this way for hours, not even noticing when we had stopped at an inn.

"We'll all be sharing a room, so I hope you're not shy." Suikotsu informed. "Big brother will be waiting for us in the next village over."

I blinked. "If he's just one village over, then why not just go now and get this over with?"

Jakotsu laughed. "Someone's a little _eager_," I flushed. He laughed once more, then sobered soon after. "Big Brother had some business to take care of there, so we'll be leaving him to it. Anyways, did you really think we didn't see the way your little chicken legs were trembling?"

I looked down, and sure enough, they were. I collapsed on the pile of pillows the maids had set out for us and pouted. "In all honesty, _I _didn't even notice... Now that I think about it, Sesshomaru did stop a lot on our journeys together..."

"Jakotsu and I were the same way when we were revived." Suikotsu settled into his futon. "After being dead for so long, we had to rebuild our strength as well."

Jakotsu stuck out his tongue. "Speak for yourself, Sui!"

"That," said Suikotsu dryly. "is the _stupidest_ nickname I've ever heard."

I listened to them argue back and forth for awhile. I didn't even notice that I'd fallen asleep.

Of course, I had the same dream as always.

But when I woke up, there was a pair of beautiful blue eyes staring down at me. The eyes blinked.

"_Hey_, so you're finally awake! So how's it feel to be alive again?" He smiled at me.

I gasped.


End file.
